August 10, 2019

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Untitled - or How Doing the Work Isn't Really Work, It's Freedom — True, Honest, Ass Kicking Freedom.

(follow-up from Instagram post 4/05/19.  True story.)




Do you relate to this?  



Sistermamas.  Hashimamas.  Women who feel too much.  Women who try not to feel at all.  Women who simply just have bad days.  Please listen.


Some of you have been binging for your lifetime.  Some of you are just "emotional eaters" — you eat emotionally, but don't binge.  Others may classify yourselves as disordered eaters — this was my preferred definition for myself after many, many years.


Whoever you are, it is ok.  You are not alone.  Cripes — even a Health Coach who has healed, and healed again; and who has gone through the depths of disordered eating, and the depths of FEELING, and has coached many women around this, and thought she was "over this" – may find herself, as I did last week, at this very moment.  


The stress is too much.  The emotions touch her like burning embers.  The cup has overflowed and it becomes too much to feel anymore.  It's either a drink, many drinks, or food.  


For you it could be shopping or food.   Screaming or food.  Punishing or food.  Maybe it's all of it.  Maybe it's your own cocktail of "dealing".   



This habit of binging, or solving your problems with food, won't stop until you deal with it — I mean like truly deal with it.


Whatever it is that you blame.  The thoughts you have.  The feelings that come up. 


You have to allow the discomfort and deal with it. 


How?  With a conversation.  Between two people who have ignored each other, adored each other, loved each other, accused each other, berated each other —


between You and You.  




1.  Ask yourself, "What happened?"  Be factual.  Be honest.  Face it.  Own it.



2. Tell yourself you have permission to feel now. 


Feel the feelings.  What feelings weren't you willing to have, when you ate them away? 


Conjure them up, now.  FEEL THEM IN YOUR BODY.  Let them out. 


This needn't take hours...or days.  Sometimes it does.  But, it doesn't HAVE to.  It's not like the bigger the problem the longer you need to dwell in it.  Did you know that our brain can process a feeling in 90 seconds?  Like water rolling off your back.  


You may have "learned" that feelings are hard and, if you're not stuffing them, you must hold onto them and keep regurgitating them often — and THIS is why it's hard to feel them now.  Why you stuff.


However, you can feel all the feels — and BE DONE.  Just. Like. That.  You won't die.  You will survive.  It will be uncomfortable.  But, you can do this.  I promise. can happen quickly.  With practice.  But for now, however it feels, and for however long,  just feel the feelings you were unwilling to feel.  


Breathe.  Are there more?  Anything left?




3.   Ask yourself "What do I want to feel now, instead?"  


Peace.  Balanced.  Relief.  Trust.  Security.  Joy.  Neutrality?  You get to choose.  Really.


Just decide the thought you must be thinking in order to feel the emotion you want to be feeling.  And begin to think it.  



It can be this simple.  It is not easy.  It is simple, though.


It doesn't matter if this habit of feeling with food happens often, or just once in a while.  Stress must be addressed.  Feelings must be felt.  This conversation must be had.  


And, it's ongoing.  Yesterday it was binging, today it's lashing out, tomorrow it's blaming.  And beating yourself up, punishing?  Then too. 


Keep practicing, loves.  It is worth it, I promise.


I know I'm a "thyroid coach" a "lifestyle medicine coach".  You might think my role is in food on the plate and labs and exercise and sleep.  Sometimes I wish it were that simple.  Mostly though, I don't. 


The emotions we carry, from traumas big or small, true or imagined — these are the parts of our lives that bring out our beauty at its very richest.  I am so honored to help women work through emotions and long standing, yet untrue, beliefs and find the strength underneath.


So many women I have helped have also been emotional eaters.  Some are also empaths, women who feel too much.  Some are women who work all day being perfect and have to crumble at some point.  Their bodies gave in...waved the white flag.