August 10, 2019

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A Blog About Pain, Running, Spiraling into Despair, Questioning, Dropping-in, Coming up for Air, A SINGLE QUESTION, and ...



I have a story for you...and if you read until the end I have a teeny-tiny but powerful link for you.

Even when things are going well, do you ever question if you're on the right path?  

I think it's human nature.  

On the one hand, questioning can be negative.  If we are the type of person who is always questioning ourselves, never feeling right in our body and Spirit, looking outside ourselves constantly for validation and direction, asking with our head and not with our heart...that's no way to live.  

Do you have moments like this?

Questioning can ALSO be a VERY GOOD THING -- it's often what leads us to growth, evolution, transformation, right? 


Feeling within our body. 

Asking our heart. 

Checking with our gut. 

And THEN directing our head.  

That's the best way to use questioning.  

(I teach clients to do this, weekly, nightly --  the timing is dependant on the person but the process is the same.  Drop in.  Heart.  Gut.  Head.  We live most of our lives thinking our head is where all the info is, the wisdom.  Untrue.  It starts in our heart and our gut.  I thank MY coach, Louise George, for putting WORDS to this process.  Now my clients thank ME.)

ANYWAY.  My story:

I had a couple painful weeks after my race -- which was
fantabulous by the way.  I was a sub on our team and I told my team that the person I replaced will have to wrestle me to get that spot back again because this will be a yearly heart-led experience for me! 


(If I had asked my Head ,she'd be like "hell no it was too hard and a bit crazy!" )


I don't ask my Head questions like that anymore.  NOT when my Heart tells me differently.  I do hope I don't have to wrestle anyone.  It was a man.  I will hold out though.  He will have to give in. :)

ANYWAY,  like I was saying, I spent two weeks after my race in PAIN.  MOST of my team members fell multiple times during our race.  The trails were full of exposed roots and gigantic rocks.  In some areas, there was more leaping happening than running.    I LOVED ALL OF IT!!!

Needless to say, I fell once each leg of the race. 
The last one had a witness.  He gave me a 10! 
And then... 


Pain can play tricks with our mind.  It can lead us into dark holes.  Tell us we aren't good enough.  Tell us we are weak.  Tell us to quit.  Emotional or physical.  Pain has the same voice the same strength.  IF we allow our THOUGHTS to THINK this way.  


My thoughts went there.  It got dark.  I was in severe pain.  I was ready to quit.  Most everything. 

Until I dropped in. 

My Heart explained, I was bruised. 

And so was my ego. 

Oh.  Ya.  That again. 

My Heart explained that I needed to give myself a break, pause, heal, but never quit.  

Really?  This isn't the end of my running career?  (No, silly.  You adore running.) 

OK.  But what about my job?  I shouldn't find another path?  Something really EASY???  That I NEVER have to THINK about outside office hours???

(No, silly girl, you are doing what you love, your passion, your purpose!  WOW, this pain and your brain have really done a doozy on you haven't they?)

You're right. Whew.  Ok Heart, thank you.

My Heart asked me what ELSE might this pain be telling me?  Aside from the physical, pain often brings up emotions that have been needing to bubble to the surface. 


It's like our body says "Oh YES!  Finally she is feeling pain! Maybe she'd be willing to feel THIS now too!  That emotion she stuffed down long ago, or a day ago, let's get that out too!"  

Oh, ya, I coach about this.  Funny.  It's harder to see when you're IN IT.  Gotcha ok.  I'll go there.  

Crap.  Yup.  Ok.  Feel it Jenn.  Crap.  OUCH!  Of course it hurts. 
It's BURSTING!  Whew.  Ok.  Breathe.  Getting better.  Ok.  

My Heart is relieved.  My Gut is thrilled because this pain was beginning to disrupt there as well.  

My Gut said "Go for a walk.  Ask for a sign.  You'll get one."

So after addressing my physical pain with acupuncture (ahhhmazing) and my emotional pain (so good to get out) I took Max walking in parks we'd not been to for so long.  

I was sure I'd find a 4 leaf clover.  THAT would be my sign. 

So, I looked.  I looked more.  I got down on my butt and ran my hands through the grass.  Looked under where Max was sprawled (that would be MY LUCK to have my SIGN hidden under my dog's belly!)

No 4-leaf-clover.  No sign.

I walked into my yard and saw a patch of clover.  THIS IS IT!  I looked through them all.  

No sign.  

So we walked in the door and as I sat down to my computer, having given up on the sign-searching, a card fell to the floor.  (It was from a "thought-provoking question stack" that came with my jewelry kit that was set out for a friend to borrow.)

The card read:


I cried.  And laughed.  

If you know my story AND my coaching I DO have ONE QUESTION that DID change my life.  And it's what I use to change the lives of women like you.  My clients' lives.


Bam!  My sign!!!  I AM on the right path.  JEESH!  I need to remind myself of this question, ALWAYS!!!  Especially in dark moments -- that's when it really works its' MAGIC!!!


FYI, if I'd have asked this question at the first SIGN of pain I would have BEEN the Woman I MOST often am, the Woman I strive to be, the Woman Who:

Drops in, asks her Heart "what else?", checks with her Gut, handles the physical pain with acupuncture RIGHT AWAY and FEELS ALL HER SHIT allowing it to come up and OUT,  KNOWING this is the PROCESS.  AND NOT, SPIRALING INTO DARKNESS.

So many lessons learned!

(Including the FACT that you can't ask for a sign and then painfully grasp at straws trying to find it.  That's NOT how the Big U works!)

Ask. Allow. Receive.

"WHO ARE YOU BEING?" came to me exactly when I needed to hear it and ask it several years ago.  It HAS changed my life.  

Have you allowed it to change yours yet?   ARE YOU READY TO ALLOW IT TO CHANGE YOURS?

HERE is a link to a song that may loosen the grip a bit. (a lesson, to loosen the grip, also from my other Coach Cara Rice)

Songs and music are good like that.  Good for loosening grips.  Bringing things up.  Connecting to your deeper truer self. 


I honestly feel in some other dimension P!nk and I must have discussed the words to this song.  Because if I could have commissioned her to write it , THIS is what I would want you ALL to hear.  

It has a QUESTION in it.  And...I would LOVE to know what your answer is.  So listen and write me back.  I would LOVE to hear from you!


If you don't use Spotify look up The Last Song of Your Life, by P!nk.  BEAUTIFUL!

Thanks for reading until the end.  I hope you liked my story and enjoy this song.  

Have an incredibly heart-led weekend!


P.S.  Are you wanting to hear more about my coaching process?  Do you want to see if coaching will make a difference in YOUR life?  The call is no charge.  We just talk.  I ask you questions, you ask me questions.  We figure out what you need, what you want - you'll drop into your heart for sure.  You get a taste of what it's like to work with me, I get to know you.  And we decide together IF we are a fit.  Let's talk!  

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